


the stars are coming for us

by mjin_yun



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, I'm Sorry, I'm a big sap, Kissing, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Teenage Rebellion, and I have no regrets, at some point obviously, but there are no promises, face cheek you perv, i'll try to make the ending happy, if you want to cry very hard, jeongin has asthma, korea's shitty school system, lapslock, listen to voices by skz, me: trying to be subtle about things, seungmin's left cheek, these boys are ooc, this is very sad, will probably not become explicit, you: what the fuck is going on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 05:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18804565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjin_yun/pseuds/mjin_yun
Summary: seungmin gets beat up on his eighteenth birthday and something changes. jeongin notices.





	the stars are coming for us

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to the parking garage all around the world
> 
> also! seungmin is 18 when jeongin is 17 and they are romantically involved then. no explicit sex involving minors. about the violence, seungmin does get beat up, but it is not described graphically; you only see the after effects of it. there is also some self-destructive and unhealthy behavior throughout, though it's never portrayed that their relationship is abusive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs of the chapter: quiver by brockhampton and save me by rhye

it rains on seungmin’s 18th. he walks home from the back entrance of the school, through the marketplace. he makes two stops. the first is routine; seungmin has always picked up his mother’s groceries from the general store. it’s just eggs today. he buys a pack of cigarettes on impulse, standing at the counter.

the second stop is also routine, but in a different way. seungmin rarely does it. rarely lets himself indulge. just before the market grows bustling with fruit stands and fresh food, he veers into a quiet alleyway. he sprints with the eggs clutched to his chest until he sees the red lit sign for  _yang dry cleaning service_. seungmin stuffs the eggs into his backpack and pries out a few pebbles from the wall siding. he holds them in his palm.

as seungmin rounds the building, he scales the garbage bin next to the back entrance and hoists himself up onto the roof. he lies on his back, so that with the slant of the roof, he is invisible to whoever is on the second floor. rolling onto his stomach, seungmin glances at the third floor.

when he sees the face in the window, he lets all the pebbles in his palm go. they fall like raindrops. the window opens and seungmin leaps for the hand that sticks out of it. he thinks, _jeongin is getting stronger,_ as he is pulled up.

the open window is shut and the curtains are drawn. jeongin’s bedroom becomes dark, faded at the edges like a sepia photograph.

there is a moment when seungmin is just breathing, his face nuzzled in the crook of jeongin’s neck. he lets his eyes close. jeongin smells like tea and laundry. seungmin has no idea why he doesn’t do this more often.

“happy birthday,” jeongin whispers. jeongin has already said this to him earlier in the day before math. seungmin had thanked him and walked away. now, seungmin says nothing.

seungmin moves to turn on the light. the room turns pink. as seungmin sits on the bed, jeongin follows and ends with his head resting on seungmin’s lap.

“i got you something,” seungmin says.

“for _your_ birthday? i have something for you too.”

“thought you didn’t believe in birthday gifts,” seungmin says, running his fingers through jeongin’s hair.

“i don’t. i know you do though,” jeongin replies, reaching for his backpack.

seungmin’s heart beats. “wait, i’ll get you mine first.” from his own backpack, seungmin pulls out the pack of cigarettes.

jeongin laughs. “you remembered,” he says, taking the pack.

“if you get addicted, i will have to kill you.”

“you won’t have to. i think these will do the job,” jeongin says as he gets up. he sits at his desk, which is piled high with books and homework. seungmin knows exactly what he’s getting and where he’s getting it from. jeongin removes the top drawer and retrieves a small box.

he sits back on the bed and spills the contents of the box on the comforter: two old train tickets, a rainbow bracelet and pride flag, several pressed flowers, a disposable camera (unused), receipts to dinners and adventures, a tourist guide to busan, a roll of money, an overexposed polaroid photo of a kiss, and a lighter. jeongin takes the lighter.

“you do not know how long i’ve been curious,” jeongin says, plucking a cigarette from the pack. he puts it in his mouth. “is it backwards?”

seungmin nods, lips quirking. this moment feels like it’s happening too fast for seungmin’s brain to catch up. jeongin fixes it and holds the lighter to the butt of the cigarette. “am i really doing this?” he asks around the cigarette. his busan accent bleeds through.

seungmin leans toward him. jeongin flicks the lighter several times before it catches and the flame lights. he holds it to the end of the cigarette and breathes in. jeongin holds his breath until seungmin leans in, their lips centimeters away. he breathes out the smoke into seungmin’s mouth, their eyes locked.

jeongin pulls away and coughs hard into his arm. seungmin grabs jeongin’s arm. “do you want your inhaler?”

he shakes his head. jeongin’s eyes are watering slightly when he leans in to kiss seungmin. he breaks away again to cough. seungmin kisses his cheek. “i hate this,” jeongin says.

“good,” seungmin says as he finally finds jeongin’s lips. seungmin has always thought that jeongin kisses like he’s going to disappear. like there is only a moment left before he dissipates into thin air. he tastes like smoke and tea. when seungmin first kissed him, he thought jeongin kissed so gently that he could be a girl. seungmin used to close his eyes and try to pretend that he was. he doesn’t anymore.

seungmin brings his hand to jeongin’s cheek to deepen the kiss. jeongin’s hand finds seungmin’s neck. this is a stolen moment, seungmin thinks, and then he thinks nothing as jeongin runs his hands through seungmin’s hair. it’s all theirs.

they kiss until seungmin feels like his lips are bruising and he pulls away. jeongin’s eyes are wet. seungmin wipes jeongin’s face with his sleeve. he doesn’t need to ask why because he already knows. he asked why a year ago.  

“will you…?” seungmin asks.

jeongin nods. “every day.”

seungmin kisses the top of jeongin’s head and then takes a cigarette. “never use these, okay?”

“you goddamn hypocrite.”

“i am old and i am stupid,” seungmin says, lighting up a cigarette.

jeongin leans in to share the smoke, his eyes flitting back and forth between seungmin’s eyes and lips. seungmin pushes jeongin away lightly. “don’t. you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

jeongin says nothing, eyes expectant. when seungmin takes another drag, jeongin presses his lips to the other boy’s just as seungmin exhales, catching the smoke between his lips. 

seungmin shoves him away. jeongin pushes him back all the way into the headboard, so his head smacks against the wood. grabbing his wrists, jeongin wrestles seungmin down to the mattress. seungmin twists his wrist out of his grip. he was right about earlier. jeongin is growing stronger. seungmin elbows jeongin in the ribs and manages to sit up before he curls his fingers around jeongin’s wrist and shoves him hard enough to knock him onto his back. jeongin swears and lunges for the other boy.

“would you quit it?” seungmin says as meets jeongin head-on, grabbing his hands and pushing him back into the mattress. he can see the moment when everything leaves jeongin’s eyes. jeongin’s breathing slows as he tries to jerk his wrists out of seungmin’s grip.

“what do you want?” seungmin asks.

jeongin says nothing, just stops struggling against seungmin. he lets him go. jeongin blinks. seungmin sighs and searches for the cigarette he dropped earlier in jeongin’s bed. there is a small black spot in the duvet where he finds it. seungmin runs his thumb over the spot; it fades to a muted grey but doesn’t disappear. he stuffs the cigarette into the pocket of his school pants. 

jeongin sits up and wipes his nose. “don’t want you to go,” he says after a moment. he rests his head on seungmin’s shoulder. his eyelashes flutter. seungmin closes his eyes until there is noise from downstairs.

“i gotta go,” seungmin murmurs under his breath. he can’t be loud.

jeongin nods. “i’ll give you your present next time,” he says as he reaches for the pile of things from the box. he hands seungmin the pride bracelet. “for now,” jeongin whispers. he pulls up his sleeve. jeongin’s bracelet is pulled up far up his forearm, hidden under his uniform. seungmin kisses his cheek. maybe jeongin is ten times braver than he’ll ever be.

as seungmin grabs his backpack, the carton of eggs falls onto the floor. seungmin swears and jeongin kneels to turn the carton over. they exchange a look. jeongin opens it.

across each row, every egg is cracked.

—

“did you see seungmin this morning?” hyunjin asks at lunch.

jeongin swallows. “he’s in your homeroom,” he replies.

“yeah,” hyunjin pauses to take a bite of gimbap. “but you know him better.”

jeongin can feel his heartbeat in his eyelids. he laughs quietly and glances out the window at the overcast sky. “haven’t seen him,” he says as he gets up. he mumbles an excuse for the bathroom and stuffs his phone in his pocket at the last moment.

the hallways are bustling with kids on lunch break. jeongin knows seungmin has a different lunch, but he still scans every face that passes him on the way to the bathroom. every boy who meets his eyes could be seungmin.

in the bathroom, jeongin locks himself in a stall and texts seungmin.

_where r u?_

the reply comes after two minutes.

_sick._

jeongin quickly replies. _with what?_

there are parts of seungmin that jeongin understands. his laugh, his terrible grades, the way his hair stands straight up after sleeping. his love for day6, the way he stays up late and sneaks out, the way he takes photos. how he wants everything.

there are also parts of seungmin that jeongin doesn’t understand. it isn’t unlike him to cryptically skip a day of school and not talk about it. it isn’t uncharacteristic of seungmin to avoid him for days at a time and act like nothing happened at the end of the week when they study together.

jeongin has gotten used to both of these parts, so when seungmin doesn’t reply after that, he goes back to lunch. and then he goes to all his classes. and then jeongin goes home. he does his homework until seungmin texts him. 

_on top of the world_

attached to the text is a picture of seungmin, smiling with the wind blowing his hair into his face. the sun is setting. this photo was taken maybe an hour ago. jeongin stands up rapidly, knocking over a stack of papers.

_where r u?_

seungmin replies, _parking garage, near gangnam. you’ll see me._

the only reason jeongin knows where seungmin means is because seungmin brought him there once when they were still walking in circles around each other. jeongin had wanted to kiss him on top of the parking garage back then. he didn’t.

_i’m coming_

—

jeongin stands the entire ride. there were seats on the subway available, but he felt too on edge to sit. the fluorescents flicker as the train slows. he wonders what seungmin did all of today. he checks his watch.

the city is still-bright and bustling. jeongin lets himself get jostled by the crowd going up the stairs. the moon is high. he walks the rest of the way to the parking garage, forgets how long he has been walking. he calls seungmin when he thinks he might be getting close. he picks up on the first ring.

for a moment, there is just breathing on either end. there are no words that they need to say. jeongin only needs to know that he is still there. after what feels like an eternity, seungmin speaks.

“hi.”

“hi.” jeongin’s voice is low. there are still people out, flitting to and from each neon-lit store. he passes a smoke shop. 

“are you almost here?” seungmin asks. his voice is tinny and muffled by a gust of wind that hits jeongin not a moment later.

“yeah,” jeongin replies. “i see it.”

and he does. it’s the tallest building around. you can see the han river from the top, if jeongin remembers correctly. he hangs up when he sees a figure at the top waving. he runs across the street without looking both ways. a car honks. jeongin sees headlights in the corner of his eye. he runs faster. it isn’t till jeongin reaches the parking garage that he realizes how tall it is. seungmin looks tiny at the top. he must look tiny too.

seungmin shouts something to him. jeongin shouts something back. jeongin climbs to the first floor and runs across the empty parking lot and rides the elevator to the top and runs till he can’t breathe. he sees the sky finally and lays down on the asphalt. seungmin kneels beside him and tells him something, but jeongin can’t hear anything over the beating of his heart. seungmin has the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. jeongin feels a little bit drunk. 

“i think i’m in love with you.”

“where the fuck is your inhaler?”

jeongin laughs as best as he can and tugs seungmin down beside him. the sky is clear and the moonlight is crisp. the wind has no bite yet. it’s still september. they stare at the sky until jeongin can breathe again. jeongin turns to kiss at seungmin’s shoulder through the fabric.

“you need to bring your inhaler next time,” seungmin says, cradling jeongin’s head in the crook of his elbow. “don’t be careless.”

“it’s freeing,” jeongin replies. “not needing anything.”

“would rather you not die.”

the wind picks up, carries past them like an exhale. jeongin closes his eyes. it’s an odd feeling to be so close to death. it’s why he likes heights. “you’d save me,” jeongin giggles.

“i would.” seungmin looks at him so intensely that jeongin has to look away. “you’re blushing,” seungmin whispers. he presses his forehead against jeongin’s as he kisses him. jeongin threads his fingers through seungmin’s hair and intertwines their legs. they have never kissed outside. probably never will again. the asphalt is cool to the touch on his side, but seungmin’s lips are warm. he’s breathing too fast again.

seungmin breaks away. “breathe,” he murmurs as he kisses jeongin’s forehead. jeongin pants against seungmin’s lips.

“ _hyung_ ,” he says. “i can’t feel my lips.” 

seungmin laughs quietly and brushes jeongin’s cheek, his touch featherlight. like this, jeongin can see the reflection of the moon in seungmin’s eyes.

“it’s weird,” jeongin remarks sometime later. “being up here. we can see everything.”

“and nothing can see us,” seungmin says, smiling the tiniest bit. “it’s ours.” he reaches his hand out to the sky.

jeongin lays his head on seungmin’s chest and stares up. “they’re coming for us, hyung.”

“hmm?”

“the stars.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to comment any questions/criticisms


End file.
